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  • Have you come across an ad or a manipulation of language that's particularly egregious? Let us know. Send it to erika@adfeminem.org.

April 29, 2009

Plastic Light District?

Back before the club closed its doors forevermore, I sat on the bleacher-like steps of the Opium Garden in South Beach, Miami, and watched a breakdancer in a strategically torn t-shirt. Her athletic body gyrated; she pop-locked, downrocked and piked and then she sat down next to me, another girl in baggy pants, sneakers and a hat.  We watched the other action on the dance floor for a few minutes as the jacking house music kept thumping.  Nearly all of the women pouting to the beat shimmied in miniskirts and break-neck stilettos, with breasts that should have been bouncing in their band-aid tops but instead remained steadily bolted in place.  The b-girl leaned over and shouted over the thumps:  “Welcome to Miami, where you’re not allowed to live unless you’ve got fake tits and dick-suckin’ lips.” Of course, that was a vulgar way to put it, the stereotype of body-conscious South Beach, but there it was.  

This year, the closed club a victim of noise complaints and rising rents, I ambled down Lincoln Mall Road in search of a gelato.  Before I got to the gelato, there "it" was again.

Miami Mannequins 3 Miami Mannequin 1

Of course, it’s possible or even probable that these mannequins graced Miami’s shop windows before this year and I just didn’t notice them; I’m not sure. Anyway, I don’t know what to think about these real fake ladies. Suddenly walking down Lincoln Mall Road bore a surreal similarity to traversing yesteryear's gauntlet of sex workers in the storefronts of Amsterdam's Red Light district. 

Amsterdam-sex worker 1 Amsterdam-sex worker 2

Those Miami mannequins displays say more about the normalization of cosmetic surgery in our culture than most anything I can write about it, I think. For women in places like South Beach and Los Angeles, the question of whether or not to go under the knife is moot; the question is no longer “Should I get surgery?”  That we should get surgery is taken for granted. Instead, the fundamental question has become “Where should I get which surgery?” 

The mannequins also beg some questions about the aspirational nature of window shopping.  It could be argued that the mannequins represent the body type of the average South Beach resident more than the traditional clothes-hanger-skinny mannequin, and thus give a more realistic idea of how the merchandise would fit potential customers.  It could also be argued that heroine-chic physiques of traditional mannequins modeled equally unnatural body types, or that they enforced a standard of homogeneity for the female form so the busty new gals provide some welcome variety, at least.  While that’s possible, I also wonder how much these mannequins now commodify the body as the items for sale versus the clothing as the items for sale.  When we’re window shopping, are we supposed to covet the merchandise or the bodies on display? 

Traditional Mannequin

There seems to be a sort of chicken and egg element to the issue as well.  Are mannequins like these a result of the body commodification and normalization of cosmetic surgery in our culture, or a cause of them?

Miami Mannequins 2

 

Amsterdam-sex workers 4

April 22, 2009

In China, Job Seekers Are Resorting to Plastic Surgery

Chinese plastic surgery The cosmetic surgery business is booming in China as a hyper-competitive labor market has job hunters altering their looks to get an edge with potential employers.
By Don Lee
March 30, 2009

Reporting from Shanghai -- In this crummy job market, Stephanie Yang figures any little advantage will help. Even double eyelids.

So on a cold January morning, the 21-year-old college senior walked into one of dozens of plastic surgery clinics here and plopped down $730, the equivalent of one year's tuition. An hour later she came out with two big bandages over her eyes.

See the LA Times for the rest of this article.

April 13, 2009

Vulva 90210

Labia Enhancement The following article was posted on Open Salon by Jennifer Elle Lewis.

"Time has come to see how women measure up."
-The Vagina Institute

To address the current anxieties and judgments women face when confronted by the looks of their genitals, it is useful to describe the ways in which these anxieties are manifested. One place that serves as a good example of the pressures that can be brought to bear on women’s attitudes about their genitalia, and the “choice” to alter them, is the pseudo-medical website for The Vagina Institute (http://www.vaginainstitute.com).

They have a page titled, “Interactive Vaginal Tests,” where they ask “How well does your womanhood measure up?” For $17.95 a month, one can gain access to the site, where they “put on display vulvas and vaginas in a visual and uncensored manner allowing you to see and explore the differences between pretty and ugly female genitalia.”  (1)  The Institute also offers the service of assessing member’s vaginas themselves. Each member can submit a photo of their vagina, along with their height and weight, “vaginal measurements,” and a list of vaginal odours and fluids.  The Institute will inform the participant if their vagina is sufficiently “pretty” or “ugly,” “large” or “small,” “normal” or “abnormal.”

To read full story, click here.

February 07, 2009

Mixed Messages

Bed Bath Binge Stephanie Gans, who blogs over at Endless Simmer, sent me this picture of a Bed Bath and Beyond holiday catalog.  Click on it to see its astounding bulimia-inducing message in a larger size.  Part of Gansie's ad analysis is below; check her blog to read the rest.

"Bottom Right / Bodyfat Scale
I shit you not.  A scale on the cover is bad enough, but inside it is literally labeled: Bodyfat Scale.  And, of course, there is a delicate, white woman weighing herself and the machine screams out “UH-OH.”  Yes, that is the EXACT message we should send this holiday season.  EAT AND EAT AND EAT and BUY the BIGGEST serving platters you can find and won’t ever need again (perfect for this economy!) and then after you’ve rightly enjoyed the holiday season with friends, family and food, you—a woman—should definitely feel bad about yourself and immediately weigh yourself.

Is this why America is so fat?  Where is the moderation?  Where are the people eating responsibly?  No, it’s just massive amounts of food and then shameful, fatty guilt.  Binge eating.  Bring on the scale.  Repeat.

Happy Holidays, from your neighborhood Bed, Bath & Binge."

January 11, 2009

Flaunting Pedophilia

Chaser Editorial - Flaunt Magazine - Full-Page It makes me feel creepy even to post this photo, and I may rethink the decision, but for now, I just have to put it up to illustrate my comment. I was flipping through a recent issue of Flaunt magazine at a friend's house today when I came across this editorial photo promoting Chaser clothing for kids.  Pay special attention to the girl on the left.  With her miniskirt and open-mouthed pose (not to mention the Desperately Seeking Susan Madonna-esque ripped fishnets on the girl on the right and her additional open-mouthed fellatio-inviting expression), the sexualization of the girls in this photo really crosses the line.  I just got around to reading Mark Greif's "Afternoon of the Sex Children" (from Best American Essays 2007), in which Greif argues that because of the rampant sexualization of children in our culture, we as a society bear some of the responsibility for the pedophilia that takes place within it, and from which I'm going to quote at length here:

"The root of their [representatives of "sex children" in our entertainment culture] significance is that their sexual value points backward to the status of the child, and not forward to the adult.  So there is Britney, famous at the age of 18 for a grind video to 'Oops!... I Did It Again' ('I'm not that innocent'); Paris, 19 years old in her amateur porn DVD; [etc]...

Since the two zones - maximum value of sex [youth, virginity] and maximum evil for sex [pedophilia] - are right next to each other, shouldn't we wonder whether there's some structural relation in society between our supergood and absolute evil?... By otherwise accepting the sexual value of youthfulness... morality would have to narrow itself vengefully upon the single point of visible contradiction and overpunish whoever pursues too much youth, or does so too literally...
 
One fears our cultural preoccupation with pedophilia is not really about valuing childhood but about overvaluing child sex.  It would be as if the culture understood it must be so ruthless to stop tampering with real children just because it is working so hard to keep afloat the extreme commercial valuation of youth and its concrete manifestations in the slightly older sex child.  Does the culture react so vehemently at just this point because were the screen of morality to collapse, the real situation would have to be confessed - the child's extreme uninterest in adults; the child's sexual "liberation" as a subeffect of our own false liberation; the brutalization of life at all levels by sexual incitement?

It seems likely that an incessant overvaluing of the sex of the young will train some people toward wrong objects.  This should swell the numbers of incipient or intermittent wrongdoers who might no longer see a bright line between right and wrong--because social discourse has made that beam wobble, then scintillate, attract and confuse... Thus we may produce the obsession we claim to resent; the new pedophile would become a product of our system of values" (105, 118-119).

The photographer's name is Roger Erickson.  If you find this photo as disturbing as I do, contact the editors at Flaunt magazine at 323-836-1000 or through its Myspace page (no direct email contact listed on its website) and tell them so.  Flaunt says that it has "made it a point to consistently break new ground, earning itself a reputation as an engine of the avant-garde and an outlet for outsider culture,"  but calling something "avant-garde" doesn't make it any less exploitative.

December 24, 2008

Fill 'Er Up With Human Fat

How a Beverly Hills doctor powered his SUV using his patients' spare tires

Peter C. Beller, 12.22.08, 05:00 AM EST

Liposuctioning unwanted blubber out of pampered Los Angelenos may not seem like a dream job, but it has its perks. Free fuel is one of them. For a time, Beverly Hillsdoctor Craig Alan Bittner turned the fat he removed from patients into biodiesel that fueled his Ford SUV and his girlfriend's Lincoln Navigator. 

Love handles can power a car? Frighteningly, yes. Fat--whether animal or vegetable--contains triglycerides that can be extracted and turned into diesel…

See the rest of this article here at Forbes.com.

October 24, 2008

Know What You’ll Be for Halloween? Does It Have the Word “Naughty” in Front of it?

Heidi Klum Naughty Halloween Milk Ad

Nurse, teacher, schoolgirl, cop, firefighter, witch, vampire or Little Bo-peep:  according to retail America, on Halloween, we can be anything we want to be, ladies, as long as it’s naughty.   If we want a ready-made costume, our choices are limited; no matter the theme, the gear is the same:  booty shorts, minidress, butt cleavage, fishnets, thigh-highs, polyester and mesh.

Putting aside the obvious sexist problems with using terms like the ever popular “Slut-o-ween” to refer to this state of affairs, let’s take a moment to examine the word “naughty” itself – a word just as sexist in its connotations and history as words like “slut” or “whore.”  

Naughty is the adjectival form of naught, which means “nothing” or “not anything.” As early as the twelfth century, an effort described as “all for naught” meant the effort was all for nothing.  In this sense, naughty means worthless. The phrase “bring to naught” meant “to bring to nothing; to destroy.” The Oxford English Dictionary traces yet another meaning of naughty to the fourteenth-century: “having or possessing nothing; poor; needy.  The sense of naughty as “morally bad; wicked” shows up mid-fifteenth century, and about 100 years after that, we get the first recorded usage of naughty to mean “immoral, licentious, promiscuous, sexually provocative.” The most disturbing etymology of naughty isn’t ancient history though.  In the twentieth century, the verb “to naught” has been used, albeit rarely, in some theological literature to mean “to annihilate.”

How did our language develop so that the same word suggesting worthlessness and poverty also came to suggest sexual indecency or promiscuity?  The answer may lie in the rigid gender roles of past centuries when marriage was merely a business transaction in which women were wed off in exchange for property, with virginity a prerequisite for drawing a high price – or drawing a price at all.  Because a single woman’s retail value on the marriage market declined in direct correlation to her level of sexual activity, a promiscuous woman was worth precisely naught to the family hoping to trade her for a larger coffer. In 1529, the OED lists the first use of the term “naughty pack” which meant simultaneously “promiscuous woman” and “prostitute.” Men could also be naughty packs, though only in the sense of immoral or promiscuous; the label for a man isn’t linked to prostitution.  In a patriarchal society organized so that women had no access to property rights and few career options outside of servanthood, loss of virginity could truly destroy a woman’s future chances for a comfortable life and portend the very real possibility of remaining forever dependent upon the largesse of others for survival. “Calle hir a naughtie packe: withe that one woorde thou haste taken all from hir, and haste lefte hir bare and foule.”

Thankfully, American women today live in a system where the efforts of our feminist forebears mean that naughtiness is usually more fun than dangerous.  But far as we’ve come, we can’t deny that those outdated notions of virginal value still exist.  Every girl who’s ever slept with the wrong guy and had her reputation trashed because of it knows that’s true.  Unfortunately, sexploitative costumes on Halloween reinforce these values through the very language used to sell them.  Here’s to dressing up like a pumpkin, a bumblebee or a suffragette this year. 

*All quotes taken from the Oxford English Dictionary.

September 09, 2008

Combodities: Worth Our Weight in Silicone?

What is significant about much of the rhetoric surrounding the decision to change the body  is that it focuses on the natural body as inherently defective or unsatisfactory… The ‘natural body’ is presented as a site for improvement, a starting point which is, almost by definition, inadequate and only ever potential.  -Pippa Brush

There are many reasons to complain about rush hour in Los Angeles, not the least of which is being trapped in my car, alone, only to have my self-esteem attacked by the radio I’ve turned on to distract me from the frustration of driving three inches per hour.   Imagine this:  a woman’s voice bellows from the dashboard of your vehicle, her voice stunning in its urgency:  “Summer’s just around the corner!  Isn’t it time for you to get that perfect body you’ve always wanted?”  Not only that, but apparently, two-for-one specials are yours for the asking.  For a limited time only, she informs you, you can “get a combo, a new nose and breast aug for just $5999!” if only you would “call 1-866-577-BODY for a new you!”    

“All of this and more,” the woman blares, “from the Genetic Institute for Anti-Aging.”  Oblivious to irony, she promises eternal youth and culturally-approved physical perfection from a place called the Genetic Institute for Anti-Aging (GIAA), where anti-aging isn’t achieved genetically at all. 

If you live in Los Angeles, you don’t even have to imagine such a situation because it’s likely you’ve already experienced it.  The first time I heard one of these ads, I almost rear-ended the car in front of me.  Since then, I haven’t been able to turn on the radio without hearing another one, and I’ve started receiving full color cosmetic surgery fliers in the mail.  The fliers too warn me of the impending doom of bikini season – “Summer’s almost here!” – and demand that I “Be impeccable!”  I’ve also driven by full-color billboards with perfect, headless beach bodies and discovered New Beauty magazine, a publication devoted entirely to “provid[ing] visually stunning, in-depth articles on all forms of cosmetic enhancement. Covering a wide range of procedures offered by cosmetic dentists, plastic surgeons, dermatologists and more…”   These messages are so ubiquitous, seem to be so much an organic part of of the LA landscape, one might be tempted to dismiss them.  After all, this is L.A.  Las Vegas might be Sin City, but L.A. is Plasticity. But ignoring these ads leads to the normalization of the messages underlying them - messages which have serious and dangerous social implications.

The website, www.getyournewlook.com, says the GIAA's goal “is to improve your health and slow down the natural aging process… to restore youthful function and appearance, obtain enhanced quality of life, provide protection from maladies of aging…to help each individual achieve their maximum health potential.”  Save for the malady of the wandering husband, one wonders what physical maladies of aging are actually cured by breast augmentation and laser vaginal rejuvenation?[1]But in this rhetoric lies a semantic trick.  Beauty is conceptually replaced by health, and this ostensible emphasis on our well-being comes from organizations focused on treating the signs of health, rather than health itself.    

The GIAA isn’t the only organization co-opting the language of health to talk about an idealized notion of “ageless” beauty.  Many cosmetic surgery clinics and doctors are now practicing “aesthetic medicine.”  The term “aesthetic medicine” suggests that aging, far from being a natural process, can, like the flu, be cured.  If aging is something of which we can be cured, then a body or a face visibly aging, by extension, must be ill.  This rhetoric equates wrinkles with disease and trains us to believe that looking old means being sick.  Those who dare to age gracefully, or dare to age at all, are condemned to become diseased.  When we come to associate visible aging with illness, we forego the traditional associations of age with wisdom, experience and maturity for notions of contagion, weakness and disability.  History and literature have given us such a notion before, with cruel and socially disastrous results.  Ralph Waldo Emerson echoed a similar sentiment when he said “Beauty is the mark God sets upon virtue,” the converse of which implies that ugliness was the mark set upon vice, and thus our women deemed unbeautiful or nonconformist were hanged as witches and the asylums and prisons were filled with the deformed. On the homepage of GIAA’s website, cut flowers bracket an image of a woman and this command: “Discover ageless beauty;” the current cover of New Beauty magazine asks “Can you achieve ageless beauty?” Perhaps we should ask this question instead: if something is ageless, can it be beautiful at all?  A legion of poets, not the least of whom was John Keats, wouldn’t have thought so. “She dwells with Beauty – Beauty that must die,” Keats said so famously in his “Ode on Melancholy,” referring to the way that the beauty of things depends so entirely on their transience. Beauty, in the form of cut flowers and lotus blossoms, sunshine and sunsets, cirrus clouds and autumn leaves, snowflakes and ice storms, children and yes, young adulthood--moves us precisely because it is fragile, fluid, fleeting, susceptible to change. And if youth is beautiful because it does not last, in our attempt to capture it, do we not destroy what was precious about it in the process?

Today we can purchase new bodies as easily as cars.  More easily, in fact, and with less paperwork. We should be grateful, perhaps, for the lack of paperwork, lest prospective partners start asking for CarFax-style reports about our bodies, to check on just how far we’ve tried to roll back the mileage.  The voice of the GIAA wants to overhaul every body to trade in or to trade up. In this market, our commodified bodies are our stock in trade.  Implicit at the very base of the radio commercial, the fliers and the magazine was the premise that the question of whether or not to go under the knife is moot; the question for a woman is no longer “Should I get surgery?”  The fundamental question has become something else entirely; not “Should I get surgery?” but “Where should I get which surgery?”  

Here is the true story of a wealthy couple, much of it the stuff of cliché:  man and woman become husband and wife; wife puts in 33 years, many of them lean while husband makes his fortune only to promptly leave wife in old age to wed an ex-beauty queen, a woman forty years his junior and possessed of the requisite SoCal face—Botoxed, augmented, tucked and Restylipped.  There was, of course, all the usual nasty gossip surrounding the union, the universal acknowledgment that everyone certainly knew what she was after.  Despite this, the couple and their public presented to one another a superficial suspension of disbelief, a tacitly manufactured acknowledgment that the businessman and the beauty queen shared a romantic love deeper than the billionaire’s pocket.  It came then, as an all the more disquieting shock when, during the wedding ceremony, as the minister recited, “And do you, Penelope, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer…” and upon the word “poorer,” the bride was unable suppress her laughter, a derisive snort.  That laugh said, “You’re buying me, you old bastard, and don’t you forget it.”  That laugh said, “You’re buying me, and there is no more negotiating the price.”

Months later, men and women at the Orange County Art Museum in Newport Beach were negotiating prices, ostensibly in support of Planned Parenthood. At the Haute Wired Ball, an auctioneer offered designer purses, heli-skiing trips to Vail, hybrid cars, couture jeans and oil paintings to patrons sprawled across the teak seats of $5,000 cabanas.  Most of the women in the room looked eerily the same, a legion of Stepford trophy wives who attended the same Botox parties and patronized the same cosmetic surgeons for the same nips and tucks. There’s a hip-hop song that used to get a lot of play on the radio, on MTV and in the nightclubs.  It’s called “Gold-digger” and it’s a mix of rap by Kanye West and samples of Jamie Foxx remaking an old Ray Charles song.  As the title indicates, the song is about women using and abusing men for their money, a “poor me” anthem for the wealthy man.  The climax of the song is a call and response.  Call:  “If you ain’t no punk, holla’, we want pre-nup!”  Response:  “We want pre-nup!”  When the dj played this song at the Haute Wired Ball, teetering women and manicured men raised their fists in the air, grinned and shouted along:  “Holla’, we want pre-nup!  We want pre-nup!”  At the time, I was delighted in the self-conscious absurdity of the spectacle, that roomful of discounted Penelopes laughing at hapless priests, a whole gaggle of husbands and wives flushed with the catharsis of confession, publicly and giddily acknowledging one to one another and to everyone else that they’d all been bought and sold and combodified for a tangible price. 

Later I spent some time researching pre-nuptial agreements in California, and I learned that some agreements specify parameters for the woman’s weight.  In some cases, gaining 20 pounds has been specified as legal grounds for divorce and financial ruin.  Considering that, the scene at the art museum didn’t seem as funny anymore; rather it seemed a sad explanation for the women’s obvious relationships with their surgeons.

Then again, maybe that wasn’t it at all.  Maybe my interpretation of the scene—my dismissal of those women, my assumption that those women were gold-diggers in the first place—combodified them more than anything they’ve ever implanted or injected or cut from themselves.  Of course we desire what makes us desirable.  But once we’ve bought into this cultural standard of beauty and transformed ourselves into identical figurines rolling predictably off an assembly line[2], we make ourselves look as if we are the things that can be bought.  

Advertising elective cosmetic surgery as if the decision to alter ourselves is as simple as buying a used car turns us all into pre-owned vehicles - our worth negotiable, our parts replaceable. Redesigning and purchasing our body parts is an attempt to increase our market value, to take some control over setting our own sticker price. In doing so, it seems that we, the purchasers, become the purchase. 

Our commodified bodies are no longer so much under our control as they are controlled by the changing forces of the market on which we trade them.  The commodified body can become a screen onto which other people, like projectors, can run the films they want to see.   Once we become combodities, we can - like objects - be collected, possessed, returned, traded up, or relegated to a “proper” place in which we belong.  Figuratively, a world like that is one in which we’re all trapped in our cars in L.A. during rush hour, defenseless, alone.

  
Works Cited

The American Society of Plastic Surgeons. “Briefing Papers: Plastic Surgery for Teenagers.”  2008. 
22 January 2008. http://www.plasticsurgery.org/media/briefing_papers/Plastic-Surgery-for- Teenagers-Briefing-Paper.cfm. 

Bhattacharya, Dr. A.K., “Plastic Surgery Plus.” http://plasticsurgeryplus.net/enhance.htm.
22 January 2008.
 

Brush, Pippa.  “Metaphors of Inscription: Discipline, Plasticity and the Rhetoric of Choice.” Feminist Review, No. 58, International Voices (Spring, 1998), pp. 22-43.

Emerson, Ralph Waldo.  “Nature.”  1836.  American Transcendentalism Web. 23 January 23, 2008. http://www.vcu.edu/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/emerson/essays/naturetext.html#1

The Genetic Institute for Anti-Aging. “Anti-Aging.”  2007.  22 January, 2008. www.getyournewlook.com/anti-aging.html.

Keats, John.  “Ode on Melancholy.” 1819.  The Poetical Works of John Keats. 1884.

New Beauty Magazine. “About NewBeauty.”  Sandow Media 2008.  22 January 2008 www.newbeauty.com/about.html.

Ollivier, Debra.  “Designer Vaginas.” Salon. Nov 14, 2000.  23 January 2008.http://archive.salon.com/sex/feature/2000/11/14/vagina/index.html


[1] For a related article see Debra Ollivier’s Salon.com piece entitled “Designer Vaginas.”  Olliver says, “In a moment of unguarded candor, [Dr.] Matlock himself [of the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of Los Angeles] suggests that a tight vagina might help you keep your man from running after younger women when he leans forward and asks, ‘Why not have the best sex you can at home? Why not? You tell me why these 40-, 50-, 60-year-old men are running after younger women? They want these women with these nice, hot, tight –‘ he puts his hands out here emphatically for me to finish the sentence. ‘Why is that?’ he persists. (Which begs another question: Is surgically modifying your vagina the answer?)”

[4][2] The American Society of Plastic Surgeons claims that “Adults tend to have plastic surgery to standout from others;” despite this, the obvious result of widespread plastic surgery is that we all begin to look the same.  For example, collectively, 83% of female breast augmentation patients, across boundaries of age, weight, height, ethnicity, or frame, request a breast size of 36C or D (Bhattacharya).   



Extreme Makeover: Feminist Edition

How the Pitch for Cosmetic Surgery Co-opts Feminism

This spring, Sideways star Virginia Madsen became a spokesperson for Allergan Inc., the maker of Botox. Quoted in People magazine, Madsen asserts that she’s made “a lot of choices” to keep herself “youthful and strong”: “I work out. I eat good foods. And I also get injectables.”  

Read the rest of Cognard-Black's article at Ms. Magazine.

Is My Time Up?

My sister sent me the following joke.  I don't know who wrote it, but I couldn't help myself - I had to post it here.  Enjoy:  

 

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked 'Is my time up?'  God said, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.' Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.

 

She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!  Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.  After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, 'I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?' God replied: ' Sorry, I didn't bloody recognize you.'