Now you too can have that
Playboy look - in shape and in color! That's right, first you can get laser
vaginal rejuvenation and labiaplasty to shape things up down there and then,
when that's not enough, for a mere $29.95 you can get "My New
Pink Button Genital Cosmetic Colorant" - basically, long-wearing lipstick for a woman's
From the product FAQs:
Q. “Help! I've noticed I am turning a more brown color down there on my inside lips, is this normal”?
A. Yes, it’s perfectly normal and there are many factors that can contribute to this. Ethnicity is a big factor, also age, hormone change, surgeries, childbirth, sickness, health, diet and medications can all contribute to a change from “Pink” to “Brown” in a woman's genital area.
Q. “I used to be so “Pink” and healthy looking on my inside Labia Lip area. Now I am losing that fresh look. Is there anything I can do”?
A. Yes, now there is a solution! “My New Pink Button” is a Cosmetic Dye especially for the woman's genital area, to help restore that healthy vibrant Rosy color. Until now there has never been a solution for restoring natural pigment. This is a concern with many women and more than you can even imagine, and a frequent question that Physicians are asked. Check out the blogs on the Internet. You are not alone! This is a common problem and we now have a simple and safe solution, restoring sexual confidence to Women everywhere!
Apparently, this product is selling so well, after being featured on The Doctors, that some of the available colors are out of stock. It comes in four different shades of pink and has been developed by a woman who says that she works in conjunction with plastic surgeons and dermatologists in developing products specific for the needs of pre- and post-operative patients. Specifically, her bio says that she’s developed a line of makeup specifically for the needs of post-op breast cancer patients, admittedly an admirable endeavor. It’s hard to see though how the genital colorant being sold isn’t just one more way to foster and then profit from women’s insecurity. It creates yet another ideal (i.e. the four “appropriate” shades of labial pink) which women’s bodies are supposed to live up to and then offers the means to attain that ideal (or “restore” it) against which most of us never knew we fell short – until now.
In addition, the stereotypical Westernizing/Eurocentric nature of this product is obvious. In the FAQs, the first culprit listed as the source of the problematic brown labia is ethnicity, thus identifying one’s ethnicity as the source of the “problem” from the get-go. Secondly is the simple fact that “brown” is listed as an unacceptable color, the marker of unattractiveness and ill health, versus the “healthy” pink skin associated with Caucasians; indeed all the available colors are associated with the labia of famous white women – i.e. Marilyn Monroe, Bettie Page, Audrey Hepburn and Ginger Rogers.
It should be noted that this product hasn’t been FDA
approved; the website FAQs split hairs on this question by noting that the
individual ingredients in the product have all been FDA-approved. However, what’s implicit in that answer
is that this particular combination of ingredients for this particular use has
not been approved.